A Life of Wonder

I’ve read a book recently about questions. I am also working on a talk to help others ask better ones.

i’ve discovered that asking questions has a transformative power. this is especially true with self-doubt. watch how a question transforms it:

• ‘I’m not good enough,” into “Am I good enough?”
• “I’m not doing anything of value,” into “am i doing anything of value?”
• “I can never stick with things,” into “why do I chose to not complete things?”

Designing the right questions is freeing, exciting, and useful. More so than being given the answer. The process of working through the questions builds a capability and inspires a sense of wonder.

A friend introduced me to 3MIQ, which poses these questions:

• What do I want to experience?
• How do I want to grow?
• What do I want to contribute?

Let’s start with the first. Notice the question is experience and not accomplish. Too often we’re asked these goal-seeking questions which produces a list of what to strive for–striving isn’t experiencing though, or at least not the kind of experience I want to have….I wonder if we know what we want to experience, or even what we need to experience? I’d like to experience a range of qualities and emotions:

• I think in images. I want you to experience the images that I see. They are more than a visual experience. I feel them. Whether a perfectly tended rock garden, a fire escape covered in city fog, an old man’s mustache and matching hat–or memories, made vivid through imagination, blurring with the present and the imagined future. I’d like to experience a way of giving you what I see and feel so you see and feel it, too.
• The type of letter you’d want read. then reread. then save. then open. then reread again. one that changes how you think of me, and how i think of you–a hand written letter. ink.
• Flow. For me, at this time in my life, it’s mentorship. I experience flow in helping people see what they want and ask the right questions to pursue it–when I’m in a conversation like this, I know where to go–and I understand the logic of the conversation without having to try. I’d like to feel this same sense of flow in everything I do.
• A collection of beautiful things, matchbooks, sentimental rocks and figures, leaves collected from fall, coined or collectables each with a story
• The happiness of those I love. What in the world is better than this to experience?