A Life of Wonder

“The earth laughs in flowers.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Laughter cuts through the dark fog, the heaviness, the forest with no light.

It diminishes problems, changes perspectives, and gives fruit to fruitless, undulating trees. 

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Comfort is taking

a part the betamax with my father watching 

and picking blackberries in the Seattle summer

it’s walking while listening to podcasts–somewhere near water 

It’s plants after the rain, hot tea, and slow time

friends who get the joke and remember when

and sleeping in, and driving anywhere with music aimlessly 

it’s the times we’ve shared, the life we’ve shared

how it grows between us, protecting, loving, inviting

It’s the softness of shared sleep, your predictable laugh

caused my a favorite show 

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I’m wired to take immediate action. It’s also what I value. I often respond to emails within minutes. If something requires attention, urgency, I’m on it. There’s a rush I feel, a clarity, from the emergent. However, it’s no way to live. There are decisions where immediate reactions undermine the clarity of thought and perspective.

When major changes happen, or events which are dramatic and transformative in nature, immediacy is the enemy of clear thinking. I’m learning, albeit very slowly, that for many of the most important decisions the best course of action is to toss them to the back of the mind where space and time provide depth and clarity, where the sharp edges of shocking news and big change can be smoothed like rocks in a tumbler.

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“Perhaps the most “spiritual” thing any of us can do is simply to look through our own eyes, see with eyes of wholeness, and act with integrity and kindness.”
― Jon Kabat-Zinn, Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life

“Meditation is the only intentional, systematic human activity which at bottom is about not trying to improve yourself or get anywhere else, but simply to realize where you already are.”
― Jon Kabat-Zinn, Wherever You Go, There You Are

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As simple as it sounds, slowing down is one of the best ways to destress. That which seem emergent, often isn’t, and there’s a great difference between highly important and time critical.

I want to resolve to bring slowness, as a tool, into decision making, to remind myself, through my actions, of the spacious choices that are in front of me, if I can let them unfold without forcing them to.

Of course, there’s a place for swiftness, boldness, and urgent action, but if it’s not needed, best to use calm.

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“TO BE HOPEFUL in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness.

What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places—and there are so many—where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction.

And if we do act, in however small a way, we don’t have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.”

― Howard Zinn

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Rituals protect us. We step in & out of them to receive information and open a part of ourselves otherwise inaccessible. They connect us to something greater. They allow us to relax our conscious mind and rest into practices which hold us. We often forget that we can design our own rituals. Unlike ceremonies, which are performed for occasions, we evoke rituals for their symbolic power. 

What rituals do you practice which are not also ceremonies?

Elevate the mundane with ritual by bringing intention and symbolism to it. Even the act of boiling water can create ritual and move from a task to a sacred gesture. 

“A ritual is the enactment of a myth. And, by participating in the ritual, you are participating in the myth. And since myth is a projection of the depth wisdom of the psyche, by participating in a ritual, participating in the myth, you are being, as it were, put in accord with that wisdom, which is the wisdom that is inherent within you anyhow. Your consciousness is being re-minded of the wisdom of your own life. I think ritual is terribly important.”

― Joseph Campbell

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“Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.”― Thich Nhat Hang, Stepping into Freedom: Rules of Monastic Practice for Novices

So many of the wise ones advise us to notice how our thoughts move in and out of our mind and that the act of noticing creates a space between ourselves, as a witness observer, and our thoughts, as the thing which is being observed. These wise ones grasp serenity, stillness and depth through practice and non-judgement.

If you just sit and observe, you will see how restless your mind is. If you try to calm it, it only makes it worse, but over time it does calm, and when it does, there’s room to hear more subtle things – that’s when your intuition starts to blossom and you start to see things more clearly and be in the present more. Your mind just slows down, and you see a tremendous expanse in the moment. You see so much more than you could see before. It’s a discipline; you have to practice it.”
― Walter Isaacson, Steve Jobs

Ritual holds this practice and is available anytime we wish to access it.

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Something clarified it for me

What I desire most is time with those I love and the ability to be present as the mysteries unfold

Mysteries? Yes. the technologies and inventions that make life better, which ease suffering and help us communicate with greater ease and understanding.

I don’t crave for more of things, but experiences, and more time.

Time

To discover poems and artwork and songs that make my hair stand on in (i’m bald)

More time to bring people together and to host electric events at our house

More time time to wonder, speculate, and drive no where in particular

maybe for a cup of hot tea, in the middle of the day

The thing which clarified it for me won’t be discussed here today, but that same thing taught me that once things get clear

cliches take on a new meaning

as if someone shined a light behind the words revealing fresh perspectives

Same words; Deeper meanings

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Do you remember your college essay topic? The process of discovering the topic, creating a unique point of view, and bringing it to life taught me more about writing and storytelling than any class I’ve taken. 

I wrote the first draft of my essay quickly. I drove across the bridge to share it with my friend’s mother. She was a writer and a psychologist. She interrogated every word and ultimately rewrote it. She took my life story and replaced it with a psychological profile. It was perfectly crafted, yet lacked all personality and soul. 

I decided to rewrite it as I drove back over the bridge to my home. It was late December, snowy, and midnight. No one was home at my house. About 1 mile away from home, I car crashed into a boulder that night. 

I walked home. Exhausted and motivated, I rewrote the essay before the sun came up. The essay I wrote became a way for me to understand not just my interest in college, but also how I made sense of life—of all the many times I’ve moved, my passion for theater, literature, and business, and the abundance of energy that illuminated everything I did.

Since then, I’ve enjoyed helping young people with their essays. Not as a job, but as a hobby–and as a gift that I can give to help people find what they want to communicate about their authentic selves. I’ve given the gift about 30 times.

I wish there were more college essay moments in adulthood: moments that inspire self-reflection and thoughtful communication where something big is on the line. I think back to that night often and the process of writing, rewriting, fighting exhaustion, and emerging with the words, my words, that helped me and others understand what I wanted to say. Honestly, I’m ready to do it again.

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